I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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