to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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