Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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