I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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