Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize