I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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