Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
