i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize