K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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