I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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