Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
