I wish my penis had an off switch
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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