Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
