She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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