i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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