Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize