It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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