grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
