ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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