I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
