Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
