Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
