Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize
