I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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