She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
