they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
