my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Randomize
