Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Shame - the story of my life.
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