i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just gift wrapped bread.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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