the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Success! We fucked roommates!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize