well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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