Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
