Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
