They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
