My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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