Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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