Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
