I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
