its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
