i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
