Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
