Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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