Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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