Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I cut my penus on the lid.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
