he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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