Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
