I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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