How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
