I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she smelled like a LAN party
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
