Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I think people are normalizing furries
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
