Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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