did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
