i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
