I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
