omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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