It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
