Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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