New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
