he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
