I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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