I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
