remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
