feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
