My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
